I'm getting used to the way this place feels. Sort of liking it. Maybe I'll remain here forever — retreat deeper and deeper into myself until I am totally removed from life as I have known it. Or maybe I'll have some sort of explosive thought and be catapulted back to where I was, only transformed somehow. How will it all end? Or begin? Or continue? Where am I?
This is the place where Truth resides.
Yes, indeed. I'm beginning to know what that means.
Bring them back.
Bring who back?
All of them.
If you mean the people in my life, I won't! I see no point to that. Why bring anyone back? They are a part of my life that is over, done. I have learned my lessons and am trying to think differently, believe differently, live differently. Isn't that enough?
Why have you come to this place?
I don't know. It seems like I woke up one day and I was here.
You must have followed some definite path.
Yes, it certainly felt that way.
And where did you want the path to lead?
To goodness, holiness.
Are you holy yet?
No, not yet.
What are you?
I'm alone.
Do you want to stay alone?
Yes.
Then why do you pound on that door; why do you want to leave?
Good question. I don't know. Something inside makes me do it. I guess I want to feel something. Not the usual things. I want to feel something quite extraordinary.
Do you think you are ready?
I have traveled round and round in search of this place, come here with great hope, risking all I have and am. I am finally on the threshold. It is time for my next lesson. Yes, it is time. I am ready to experience truth.
The people you injured, the wrong things you set in motion, the missed opportunities?
I am very sad about all that. I tried to fix some of it.
But you can't, can you? Life — theirs, yours, all life — was directly affected by your participation in it. You had it within your power to build up or tear down, to enable or cripple, to create or destroy.
What is the point of this conversation?
What is the point of anything?
I don't know anymore. To learn something? To teach something? To share something? Maybe to be a sign...a multi-dimensional, flashing, beeping, whirling sign in the road so no one will lose the way.
Some of the people in your life may have lost their way because of you. Go get them. Bring them back.
Bring them back? Who? Which ones? Some are already gone. For some it is, probably, no longer possible. Others seem happy, why take the chance of hurting them? You are asking an impossible task of me — a task I don't understand. With age I have grown cautious, wary of my motives because I am weak with fault, and fear doing even more damage because of a need to cleanse myself. I would rather suffer the loss of my own life than to commit one more selfish act.
That is the holiness you seek. With this feeling in your heart, do not be afraid to greet all who come. It will set your final example — how you shall be known.
Yes, yes, I want everyone to know what I learned and loved and will miss so dearly. But just thinking of leaving is sad. And what will I say? Certainly not goodbye, for there is more. Nor do I know where to tell them to look for me.
Please, I can't. This hurts too much.
Speak.