The music of Cat Stevens never fails to take me to the second balcony of whatever theater Elena and I were sitting in when her contact lense popped out. Amidst the smell of pot wafting upwards and filling the air I was very carefully patting and rubbing Elena all over her chest while she sat absolutely motionless until we both let out a joyful whoop..... I found it, I found it! Ah what a wonderful memory.

Thanks Pat & Vic for that, and also for the once-a-year laughter that goes on and on until I am weak and crying... and then returns again and again. (For Vicki's information it was like that scene in Ruthless People. For Kim's information it was like the Mother of God dream.)

The line that launched me was when they were staging that scene to avoid the draft and Harold holds up the shrunken head. Maude snatches it and says "Give me that filthy thing" ..... and here I go again! Whew! this feels wonderful.... but I hope I can stop before I have to go to sleep.

Last week I had just such a scene with Jimmy. I was cutting his hair using the shaver with a crew cut attachment set to 1/2 inch. As I ran it across the top of his head from the back to the front the plastic comb flew off and as it sailed to the ground I said "Oh shit!" Jimmy lurched in the chair and said, man, I thought that was my hair! Well that struck me so funny that each time I woke during the night that scene replayed itself and I laughed out loud for about 10 seconds.... then fell back asleep. I hope it will happen like that again tonight.

The movie took me to the edge of sweet and gentle madness where I could freefall for a while. It's ability to make it all believable to me was in the simplicity of the message,"if you want to be free be free"..... and for a while I was.

Wow, what a great movie!
Barbara

Vicki, it also reminded me of the wonderful experience (and hysterics) I have everytime I read The American Dream..... I always think it won't happen this time because I am expecting it, but it always does.

I watched the movie again Saturday and no longer found Maude (or Harold) as charming as I did the first time. The Mother, however, remained pretty much the same..... and I liked her and found her comforting. She was the most stable of all the characters and actually had a real personality rather than an aberration of sorts.

Here is my Saturday take on it:

Maude had numbers tattooed on her arm. The same kind of numbers that Leon and Ella have from being in the camps. Was there something we were suppose to deduce from this possible fact? Like maybe her past was as removed from the reality of her life as her present is? And when I thought about Maude's charm..... aren't all 80 year olds pretty much the same way.... free and uninhibited and almost child-like in their irresponsibility and determination?

The relationship between Harold and his mother: I think I would treat Harold the same way, hopefully. A mother is a mother is a mother.... and most mothers carry their children very deeply within themselves. The death of a child (I imagine) tears some of the heart out of any mother. And for Harold to witness that kind of wrenching pain within his mother was something most people (especially younger children) are not privy to. So he tries to recreate it over and over and over purely for his own selfish benefit. I did not get the idea that as a young child he was ever deprived, but rather after this incident became hungry for that kind of high-energy emotion on a daily basis (sensation seeking).... thus the funerals he attended in order to witness the intensity of the emotions of loss and grieving. What a greedy and self-centered young man. Feeding on raw emotion of all kinds..... (shocking those young women from the dating service).

Friday's hearty laugh felt wonderful. But I don't live a Friday existence so Saturday found me wearing my thinking cap and deciding that Harold's mother was more to my liking...especially since those scenes were vaguely reminiscent of Jimmy and I.

I think I need to stop viewing these movies so emotionally or maybe only so quickly. Of course if I continue this pattern you will see the different dimensions of my personality (or perhaps a glimpse of mental illness in action.... Yikes!)

Barbara

Pat began watching it as soon as he got home...not even waiting for me...so much for unity-building! He did rewind it when I arrived with my drink and nachos ...and unlike most men, he stole none of my nachos.

We have been playing our Cat Stevens TAPES all weekend. Yup, the music hooked us back in.

The scene which gets us rolling with laughter is the dating service form... the mother answers all the questions for Harold! That mother is so wonderfully presented. The art of this movie is in that you don't hate any of the characters ...even though the mother doesn't have a clue...she is so misguided she becomes interesting and comic.

I found myself watching Maude's arm movements. Ruth Gordon has such a pixish manner and her arms are so gracefully expressive. The same with Harold's face ...it just takes on perfect deadpan and then surprised expressions. And he does go from being a rather ugly, pasty looking kid to an attractive, almost colorful person.

Pat and I have a mild debate about the meaning of the final scene. I think Harold drove far from his home, sent his car over the cliff to symbolize the end to his death fascination, and then walked off to begin a living...since he had no mode or desire to return to his family estate. Is that your take on the end?

Oh and one more winning moment...when Maude drives up to pick Harold up in HIS CAR. Great scene!

We're going to watch it again tonight...I know there is another moment which cracks me up with its profundity...but I can't recall it at the moment.

Enjoy!
Vicki

I think that Mom was right with her assessment of Maude and that many of the elderly feel that because they are elderly they have the right to lead careless existence. Harold's mother was a scream. Especially filling out the dating service card. Even swimming in the pool with Harold's lifeless body just floating there.

This movie was a real treat. Good Choice.
Kim

We might settle into complete agreement somewhere between our initial delight with the characters...and the potential to view them as a bit too quirky (indeed, self-centered, self-serving). BUT the goal isn't to come to agreement. (I'm reminding myself, not you.)

If I take this film to my thinker's soul then I have to write commentary on the obligations of parents (and my views on ultrawealthy parents) and on the necessity of adult children to finally set themselves and their parents free from the transgressions which occurred in childhood. But I don't think you really want me to go THERE. The water is way too deep.

Instead, I've concluded that this movie belongs to a moment (the moment when you've become grey and rutted and tired). It stands as an invitation to look at things differently, but it is presented as a comedy because taking freedom to that level would derail society. If we were all Maudes, chaos would reign. But a bit to the right of that extreme is a pleasant oasis of freedom from the ho-hum routine ....choice, if you will... which we can carry into most days.
Vicki

Of course it's easy to say that when you don't have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I have fought for what I consider to be a good life (it's important to say that I consider it a good life. Many people would see the $2500 used car, the one pair of shoes I wear every day of the week, the drab wardrobe and the aching hip joint as proof that I don't have a good life-I love them all!!!!!) but know that it hangs on a thread and could change at any moment. I only pray that I can maintain my high level of optimism should my life become terribly difficult, and that I remember to not use my neighbor as the standard, but simplicity as the standard.

I guess one of the main points of the movie is that, "If you want to be free be free." Life is full of choices and Stephen Covey (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People), Victor Frankl (Auschwitz survivor and originator of existential analysis), and a myriad of others make their living by reminding us that we are in the driver's seat. Stimulus-Response is for animals, but what makes us truly unique is that we have stimulus-choice-response. We can choose our psychological response. Sometimes it is more difficult to admit that we are the chooser, but God gave us free will. We make our choices and determine how we view those choices. Why else would you have two people go through the same circumstances and events and have very different responses? Yes, Cat Stevens, that runaway Buddhist monk has a great deal of knowledge and we can all learn from such wisdom.

A comment to mom: I saw Maude's numbers on her arm as a reference to Viktor Frankl's work and life. He is a concentration camp survivor and wrote what I consider to be one of the best books I've read-Man's Search for Meaning. The movie is Viktor Frankl's philosophy applied to theater. (It is not the book the movie was based on, but it is the philosophy which the movie expounds). If you haven't had the opportunity to read it, it is highly recommended. Perhaps this could be the next book club book!!!! Any takers???? Its the most readable 200 page psychology book you could ever find and it is guaranteed you won't emerge the same person after you read it.
Patrick