When my father bit the dust at age 43 leaving my mother 7 months pregnant and with a 3-1/2 year old daughter (me) to raise, she went back home to live with her parents. Well actually we were already living with them when he had his coronary thrombosis. My father was out of the service only 3 months when he died not on a battlefield, but in the front room of the apartment we shared with my grandparents, aunts and uncles who were all still single.
Everyone became pseudo parents for me, especially since my mother was so devastated by the loss. One by one my aunts who sang to me, took me places, bought me special things, found suitors who took them away from me. Uncle Jim was the youngest of the 8 Turk children so I held on to him the longest.
Jim joined the Air Force to find himself a place in the world. It was difficult for me, as young as I was, to see him go. He came home on leave but the two weeks were always way too short and I'd be thinking about how much it will hurt to say goodbye even before the first week was over.
In the Air Force he was stationed in Okinawa as a medic. When he was discharged he went into printing and then into photography. Jim had an artistic flare and loved to plan big events. His big day was the Family Holiday Get-Together where our entire family would gather for an extravaganza of food and fun.
He never dated that we knew of, and was more inclined to find his joy at home or with close friends.
In a large family, as ours was, disaster would strike here and there. When that happened Jim was always there to help his brothers and sisters. He provided the care for his parents. All because he was not married, because he loved his family, and because he was a good man, a good family man. Jim was the shepherd of our family.
At 57 he met a woman, Joan, who had a daughter, Jennie. Within three months Jim and Joan were married. Disaster struck in his life when Joan was diagnosed with breast cancer. (Jim & Joan) From beginning to end they had six years together. Jennie then had no one but Jim, her step-father. Shortly after Joan died Jim's health failed again.
Jim and I were only 11 years apart. He was the youngest of the Children, and I was the oldest of the Grandchildren of Frank & Helen Turk. Jim took special care of my sister and I because we had no father and because Jim cared deeply about children. As I grew older, married, had children of my own we evolved into an adult to adult relationship. And as he developed health problems I began to look after him the way he looked after me when I was young. (Letter to Jim 2 & Letter to Jim 3)
His first surgery was on his lung. (Eight weeks to Optimal Health....NOT!).
Joan's memory was a constant, and he wanted to live close to where they shared a life together. He wrote miscellaneous entries for the monthly family newsletter that traced his emotional and physical journey. (Oxygen and a Candle)
The problems with his health and the medical profession continued (Patient Survey Letter)
He eventually recovered nicely from the Lung Surgery only to have them find cancer at the base of his esophagus where it meets the stomach. He underwent treatment to shrink the tumor. (Jennie & Jim)
The family was kept informed through his monthly diary entries in the newsletter (Jim's condition & Jim's diary )
When the tumor was small enough to allow him to eat again the decision was made to try and remove the cancer. It was a devastatingly wrong decision that ended up with Jim never healing. When there was nothing that could be done Hospice came into the picture. (Feb 1st Events reported to Nora) The decline was rapid. (Hospice Time line).
After less than two weeks in the Horizon hospice program Jim died in my home surrounded by the family he loved and cared for. Those who could not be here were kept informed by e-mails from me. (Not long now & Jim is gone).
Jim was a very private man and what little we did know about him was through some of the family publications: our Family Directory and the Annual Family Profiles.
The events leading up to his rapid decline were things I needed to map out for myself to help me grieve (Time line of his Death).
The last few days were a tribute to the members of the family who helped me keep Jim at home where he wanted to be. (Jim's Final Days).
Jim had prepared all his papers, let everyone know the part he wanted them to play, and also planned his final service. He told me he wanted me to give one of his two eulogies. The other would be given by his nephew who is a priest.
This story, while it is sad in it's tragic turns, is a tribute to family values.
It is also an opportunity to learn about the wonderful work of Horizon Hospice (TQ to Horizon Hospice)
You can read the personal commentary of the people involved with his life and his death. Jim was a great one for documenting experiences. The written word was important to him. So this is my way of letting him live on in my life as well as anyone who visits our web site.
Jim died on February 5, 2001. (Eulogy)