I am beside myself with rage. Today, while out for a stroll, I saw someone throw an empty can out of a car window onto the street. Can you help me adjust my thinking so the anger will subside?
The Avenger
You who are so nice and Christian to everybody — did you ever really want to just Break Loose? The past few years I have had it pointed out to me (by positive thinkers, of course) that I am so `negative'. That seems like such an awful thing to me — negative — so I determined to try to change some of my attitudes about people, about life — adopt a more easy-going style, be more accepting, tolerant, understanding and loving of God's people when they:
chew with their mouths open,
flip open their car doors on the street side without looking,
call at 9 AM on a Saturday to peddle plastic seat covers,
stand — just STAND! — right outside a revolving door,
discuss out loud (always in the seat behind me) what is going to happen next in the movie,
don't turn on the left-turn signal in rush-hour traffic,
come into the room and ask "What are you watching?" at the precise second the announcer is giving the information you waited for all night.
So much for acceptance. Just thinking about these things makes me boil. And the older I get the less I am able to control this cesspool of hostility.
For example, the other day as I was about to enter a revolving door I saw them: a group of three people dressed so nicely, smiling so warmly, chatting so friendly and planted so firmly right there on the other side of the revolving door. I hesitated for a moment before entering. That's when it happened (Grr, hiss, sizzle, snap). Unable to fight it off I headed into the revolving door and revolved once, twice, three times. I was doing about 45 mph when I catapulted out of the door like a human bowling ball. "Oh, excuse me, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you all standing there, dressed so nicely, smiling so warmly, chatting so friendly, planted so firmly right in the doorway."
I arrived at my destination and wept: how could I have done such an awful thing? It was wonderful, just wonderful. I thought about going out there and doing it again. Then I thought about trying it in another building, in another area, in another city. I'll take my vacation and hop a plane and do it in California, Texas, across the border and into another country. I was beginning to tremble with excitement. Was this getting out of hand? Where would it all end?
I thought maybe there should be a newspaper column for people like me. A place where we could bring our hostility and aggression and have it transformed into `positive' feelings and actions. A column that might read something like this:
Dear Pollyanna,
I am beside myself with rage. Today, while out for a stroll, I saw someone throw an empty can out of a car window onto the street. Can you help me adjust my thinking so the anger will subside?
Dearest Avenger,
It is truly a wonderful thing you experienced. That empty can may be used for so many exciting things. Next time it happens you just run right over and pick up that can, fill it with cool water and offer it to those who thirst; or cut off the top and stick pencils in it for your Mom; or use it as a rolling pin and make little sweet cakes to feed the starving people of the world.Oh yes, yes, you were truly blessed to be there at that exact moment in time and be the recipient of such a treasure. (For more suggestions I'll be happy to send you my 10-volume encyclopedia A Million and Two Uses for an Empty Can. Just send $45 and a self-addressed, stamped crate to me.)
And thank you for writing and sharing this with us; the world is a better place now. And remember, God loves you, smile (but not so big that your eyes squint shut or you won't see the cans), and don't forget about my encyclopedia.