[zensquared home] [previous] [next] [table of contents] [email]

Commitment



"I don't know who or what put the question. I don't know when it was put. I don't even remembering answering. But at some moment I did answer yes to someone — or something — and at that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that, there, my life in self-surrender, had a goal." Dag Hammarskjold, Markings

ALONE. All Alone. As far as the eye can see...and farther
...in all directions. Nothing. No one.

NAKED. Wanting to hide. Where?! Afraid, vulnerable. Alone.
No one. Nothing.

SILENT. Straining, aching for a sound...only silence fills the
nothing.

NOSTRILS. Searching, flaring. Lungs filling, time after time, with the
smell of absence, nothingness.

SWALLOW. Liquid, trickle, tasteless. Swallow, swallow.
Tasteless.

SELF

"then my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light"
L-I-F-E LIFE—LIFE—LIFE

"Let's do something different tonight."
"How about a porno flick? I've never seen one of those."
"Sure, why not?"
"Oh my God! What is this madness? My eyes, my poor eyes."


and on the flip side of life

The glint of sun off her leg braces momentarily blinds me. So sweet is her tiny face, so shiny and massive the hardware on her crippled limbs. I am spellbound by her never-waning smile. My eyes must be deceiving me for surely she has no reason to be joyful.
Oh God, she has brought me so near to you.
So filled is this moment.

CHOICE


Alone again. Naked again. Nothing again. Nothing.

BARBARA?
"Yes, I am Barbara."

WHAT IS IT YOU SEEK?
"Who are you? Where are you?"

NEVER MIND. I ASKED YOU A QUESTION. WHAT IS IT YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU SEEK?
"Well, my clothes, and maybe a little chair or something to sit on, and a pizza, and somebody to share it with. How 'bout that?"

THAT'S ALL YOU WANT?
"Oh, well, no! I thought you meant for starters. Uh, never mind...just kidding."

WELL, COME ON NOW, WHAT IS IT YOU SEEK FOR YOURSELF?
"I seek...Truth...I must have truth.
Justice
...not laws, but dignity for all.
Simplicity
... in my ways, my thoughts, my desires.
I seek Wisdom, Understanding, and Humility."

AND WHERE WILL YOU FIND ALL THIS? LOOK AROUND YOU. THERE IS NOTHING. NO ONE.
"I will search for and find it within my Self."

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT ALL THIS?
"I want to try."

WELL? WHAT DO YOU SAY?
"please?"

NO, NOT PLEASE.
"thank you?"

COME ON BARBARA, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
"Oh! Yes? I mean YES!"

COMMITMENT

[zensquared home] [previous] [next] [table of contents] [email]