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Alone

I don't know which is more frightening, the sounds in the night or the thought that I may spend the rest of my life alone. The sounds in the night are at least explainable: it's someone breaking into my room, the furnace creaking, the dog, a spirit!

A city sticker? What in the world is a city sticker? Oh, that's the thing I put on my front door to show I paid my taxes. Oh no, it's the card I have filed in my metal box under `papers on the house'? No, no, no, it must be that thing on the front window of my car, or is it the thing on my rear license plate, or the front license plate? Whatever it is, I have a month to renew it!

"Mom, can I go to the prom?" "Why of course you can. When is it?" "Next week, and I'll need a..." "Mom, I have to know by tomorrow who my sponsor is going to be, and I need my baptismal certificate too." "I heard crying last night, Mom, and I think it was Jimmy." "Mom, Deborah's cough is real bad and I think something should be done" ...should be done...should be done.

"And now for local news. Parents are protesting the cancellation of the bus service. Their children have no way of getting to school; some have to take as many as three different buses." Click. "Kimberly, hurry up, I took our bikes out." "How cold is it?" "Well, to me it's not that cold but you'll probably freeze."

"Good afternoon, Liturgy Training Publications." "Hi Mom, we're home." "Well, hello, and how was your day?" "Not too bad. Oh, but I almost got hit on my bike at Ridgeland. Some driver was turning and must not have seen me. Wow, did I get scared! Oh, the dog chewed up the pillow on the couch. There's cotton all over the den. And how is your day, Mom?"

"Mom, why are you always yelling at us? It seems like nothing pleases you anymore." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, kids; I didn't mean to snap..., to hurt..., to yell..."

"I'm really sorry boss, I'll try harder next time to..." "Mary, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you last week, I don't know what is wrong with me these days, I just..."

I'm really sorry, sorry, sorry...you see, I'm a little cranky today because I couldn't sleep last night. I had this crazy dream, so I slept with my light on all night, again; and I left my heavy socks on just in case I had to run out, and because my feet were so cold. The night before that I didn't sleep too well either, because the drink I had before I went to bed wore off, and I woke to hear this noise; and I didn't know if it was the furnace, or the dog, or someone breaking into my...into my misery to bring it to an end. But it was only the furnace creaking...and I'm so sorry, it was only the furnace.


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